Undo It
by prsweetie
Summary: She was in love with two men. One man wanted her but the other needed her, so she left. Two years later, she's back and nothing will ever be the same. Orton/OC, Jeff/OC, John, Melina, Stephanie and various others
1. Welcome Back

_A/N: WOW, I guess I'm back huh? Well, I know that I have 3 stories that still need to be updated or deleted but I figured maybe if I start a new story, my muse would return full force and I can finally finish some other stories. This story actually came to me in the most random way. I wanted to at least get this first chapter out of the way and see how it is received. Hopefully, I haven't been completely forgotten, ha. As always, only the OC's belong to me. _

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* * *

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I nod at Robert, the stage hand, as he hands me a piece of paper and quickly walks away. I look down at my hand and try to remember how in the hell I allowed Stephanie to talk me into coming back to working for this hell hole. I roll my eyes as I contemplate throwing the paper on the ground and running while I still can. My name is Adrianna Torres and after taking an almost two year hiatus, I am back working the Public Relations department for the WWE. In short, I get to play babysitter to all these grown ass men who still find farts and wedgies funny. I first got the job right after college and was thrilled to be traveling the world, working for a company that I have been a fan of since birth.

The novelty wore off pretty quickly and slowly but surely I was beginning to resent my job. The traveling was hell, the wrestlers were bitchy and I was starting to seriously consider committing myself into a psych ward after having to look after The Great Khali for two months. My job wasn't all bad. I had managed to make quite a few friends and even fell in love a time or two. The love part was the main reason why I quit. I had some how found myself in a triangle that made any storyline Vince came up seem like a segment on Sesame Street.

Instead of dealing with the turmoil that was my life, I took the chicken shit approach and ran fast and far. I handed in my two weeks notice and spent the first 6 months traveling the world, seeing all the sights that I wasn't able to visit from hotel rooms and bus tours. I changed my cell phone number and even moved from my apartment in Tampa to….well, a condo in Tampa but no one knew where I was.

When I made it back home, I finally broke down and called Stephanie. Stephanie had been the woman that hired me and even though she was my boss, we quickly became friends. Her husband Paul always used to joke that if Steph ever left him, he was coming after me. I finally started to make my way back into the WWE social circle, although I made sure to be very careful not to surround myself with the two men that had at one time been the most important things in my life.

Stephanie came to my house about a month ago and offered me my job back. I was never big on spending a whole lot of money so I had been able to save the first few years at my job. However, that money was on the verge of running out and I really need to start looking for a job. After much pleading from Stephanie, Paul, Melina, John and one interesting call from Vince McMahon himself, I found myself back at work. My job had changed a little bit since my last time being here. Instead of taking care of a group of wrestlers at one time, I now only had to be the assistant to one wrestler for a period of six months and then it would rotate.

I sat down on a crate and finally opened up the letter in my hands. I scanned over the name and shut my eyes. I put the paper down, walked away and picked it back up. This better be a fucking joke.

* * *

"This better be a fucking joke." I exclaimed to Stephanie as I flew through her makeshift office. Stephanie looked up at me from the laptop and I saw the humor laced in her eyes.

"I tried to get you out of it, Adrianna, I really did, but Daddy insisted that you be the one to help him."

"What the hell for?"

"You know the ins and outs of this business better than any other PA and let's be honest, you know him better than anyone else."

"Knew him. I don't shit about that man anymore. This was exactly the reason why I didn't come back."

"You knew that you were going to after see him sooner or later, Ad."

"I was banking on later, a lot fucking later. This is why I asked to be sent to Smackdown. Why I couldn't work for Mark or something?"

"Mark is injured plus we need you on Raw. Plus I figured you didn't want to be near Matt."

"Fuck Matt too."

"So I guess she knows?" I look up at Paul and give him the finger. He laughs and kisses me on the cheek before going around the desk to Stephanie. Sometimes the two of them are so cute they make me want to vomit. Now would be one of those times. I clear my throat to let the lovebirds know that I'm still in the fucking room. This is why they have 3 kids now.

"I don't have a choice in this do I?" Stephanie smiled and shook her head.

"Not really." I do the math to figure out when my first paycheck will be due because I'm sure I'm not going to make it very long the second time around. Did I mention that I hate this hellhole? I feel a sinister smile hit my face.

* * *

"Shit, I know that look. What are you up to?" I shake my head as I stand up and walked towards the door. I guess I better get this shit over with.

I stalk down the corridor in my fabulous new pair of Prada shoes. Maybe I wouldn't have to come back to work even I didn't have such a sick addiction to shoes. I let my wander to what wearing a pair of PayLess Shoes might feel like. I shudder at the thought and keep walking. I bang on the Men's Locker room door and place a hand on my hip. I am going to make damn sure this motherfucker knows I don't want to be here.

The door opens and I'm engulfed in a hug by Adam, one of my favorite people in the world. I smile at Chris and take stock as to who is in the room. My eyes finally reach the couch and I take a deep breath. Before I can open my mouth, the motherfucker beats me to the punch.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I'm your fucking PA asshole, so deal with it."

"Fuck this. Your ass was supposed to be gone and you weren't supposed to ever come the fuck back." I roll my eyes.

"Oh boo hoo, you big bitch baby. I don't like this anymore than you do, but I'm here and I need to get paid so fucking deal with it." My patience is running thin and I seriously consider picking up on of those metal chairs and aiming it directly in that big ass head of his. I glance over when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I smile at John and he kisses me on the cheek. He puts his other hand up.

"Ok, obviously this isn't the ideal situation for either one of you, but don't you think the two of you can at least try to be civil to one another." We both seem to think about it and I finally plop down on the chair behind me, from exhaustion more than anything. I've only been back for two hours and I'm ready to commit murder.

"Fine, John, I'll try but only for you." I close my eyes and lean back. I can feel everyone staring at the two of us waiting for the next bomb to be dropped. They don't have to wait long.

"How's your junkie boyfriend? Is he still putting his hands on you?" I open my eyes and glare with a smile on face.

"I don't know. How's your cunt of a wife? Is she still fucking all your neighbors and friends?"

Welcome back to the WWE. Adrianna Torres vs. Randy Orton. Round Two is getting ready to begin.


	2. Surviving The Ride

I should have anticipated this. I should have known that there was no way in hell the two of us could possibly co-exist. Too many years, bad words and anger stood in between us now. It wasn't always like this between Randy and me. Once upon a time we were the best of friends. Hell, there was a time when we were lovers on the verge of what could have been something great. I know just as well as he does that I am mainly to fault for what happened between us. I made a choice and at the time it seemed like the best one. I really wish I would have had a crystal ball handy before I made that decision.

I can't bare the thought of sticking around and trading insults with Orton a minute longer. I stand up and level him with a look that tells him I'm not playing.

"You hate me, I get that. Newsflash, you aren't exactly one of my favorite people right now either. However, we do have to work together so I suggest we BOTH learn how to keep our traps shut before somebody, and by somebody I mean you, gets hurt. We don't have to be the best of friends; in fact I would prefer to only keep our conversations limited to this job. I'm not going to fight you Randy, it's too exhausting."

"Besides, you both know that if this shit keeps happening, we are going to have to court." John exclaims causing everyone in the room to groan. Court is what happens when something goes down backstage that causes any type of drama. Vince is adamant about not wanting backstage crap to get leaked to the public, so when things get out of control, we have to hold court. Mark, our fearless locker room leader, usually ends up being judge, juror and executioner. It's not a fun time for any of us.

* * *

I walk out the door and take a deep breath. I head towards catering to grab some water and hopefully find someone with an aspirin. I say hello to those I pass by and find my headache worsening as some of the people that I am less than thrilled to see again pass me by.

I finally hit catering, grab the bottle of water and spot Melina sitting by herself in the corner. Melina and I had a rocky start in the beginning but after a year or so, we were able to find a common ground. We became friends and I was thankful for that considering she is on of the last standing women that were around when I started. I don't exactly like most of the so called "divas" in the company right now and I'm not exactly quit about it. I make my way over to her and when she spots me, she quickly puts a smile on her face. Without saying a word, she opens up her purse and hands me a bottle of Excedrin.

"Figured you would need this by now." I swallow down three pills and rub my temples.

"Stephanie told you?"

"She may have mentioned that your first assignment would be Randy. John just texted me giving the heads up that World War II just went down."

"After all this time, he still can get under my skin like no one else. I should now better by now."

"Guess it really isn't the welcome back you were hoping for." I shrug my shoulders and wince as I see the Bella Twins walk into the room.

"I don't know why I was expecting things to be sunshine and rainbows. I knew deep down Randy wasn't going to make this easy. I can't change the past Melina and I am truly sorry for hurting him."

"Have you told him that?"

"I tried a few times but by then we were both so angry that it never worked out." I slam my head on the table and seriously start to consider going back to school and changing careers. "So how are you holding up since Dave left?" I asked as a sad attempt to change the subject.

Melina shrugs her shoulders and gets a pissed look on her face. "It's whatever. It wasn't like he was faithful to me or anything. Hell he was banging every new tramp that walked through these doors. I finally ended things about six months ago, so he's leaving just made things a little easier." I pat Melina's hand knowing all too well the strain of getting involved with a wrestler. You know deep down that it's the wrong thing to do, but when this is all you know 250 days out of the year, it becomes difficult to date outside of the company.

We sat and talked for awhile before she told me that she had to start getting ready for her match. I couldn't help but to notice that the excitement she used to have for wrestling seemed to die down a bit over the years. Maybe it was the lack of talent or the recent rumors of politics but something was definitely off.

* * *

I survived my first Raw back. Thankfully Orton was faced with no interviews or promos until next week. Sadly, it was now my responsibility to drive him 100 miles to the nearest town that held an airport so that he could make his flight in the morning. I know you may be asking me why I have to drive. The truth is Randy is a horrible driver, especially after a match. His shoulder is normally flared up and bothering him, although he won't admit it and it makes it difficult to keep his hand on the steering wheel for a long period of time without a break.

I wait outside his locker room while he changes and grabs his bags. When he walked out of the room, he barely glanced at me before handing me his keys. I guess someone informed him that I took a taxi to the arena and would be driving him. I'm surprised he has no smart ass comments and I don't know which is worse: his yelling or his silence.

We get in the car and I turn on the GPS while he fiddles with the radio. This used to be the start of an argument between us two. Randy is a rock guy through and through while I prefer the soft sounds of R&B for a late night drive. Tonight though I decide to ignore him while he finds a suitable station. We pull out the lot and without even looking at him, I speak.

"Diner or Drive-Through?" Randy normally doesn't eat all day before a match so afterwards he is starving. I find his theory a little ass backwards but it seems to work for him.

"Drive-Through." I find a Taco Bell and pull around. He tells me what he wants, I order and pay and prepare myself for the long ride. I hear him eating beside me and trying to get comfortable while a song on the radio catches my attention.

_Though it's been a while now  
I can still feel so much pain  
Like the knife that cuts you, the wound heals  
But the scar, that scar remains_

_I know I could have saved our love that night  
If I'd known what to say  
Instead of makin' love we both  
Made our separate ways_

_But now, I hear you've found somebody new  
And that I never meant that much to you  
To hear that tears me up inside  
And to see you cuts me like a knife_

Damn you Bret Michaels and your 80s rock ballad. I grip the steering wheel as tightly as I can and try to concentrate on breathing. I cut my eyes over to Randy and see that he has lit up a cigarette, a tell tale sign that I am not the only one in this car fighting with emotions. I feel like I should say something. If this was One Life to Live, this would be the point of the story where we both realized that we left a lot unsaid and we need to resolve our issues. Unfortunately since this is more like Days of Adrianna's Fucked Up Life, Randy's phone starts to ring. I feel him glance over at me before answering.

"Hey babe." I hear the distinct female voice on the other side of the phone and my foot automatically starts to hit the floor. It would be perfect that SHE would be calling right now. I try to tune out the voices around me and am extremely grateful when he cuts the conversation short. I release my foot from the gas pedal and move back to a reasonable MPH.

3 hours later and I finally see the bright lights of the Days Inn coming into view. I practically give myself whip lash pulling into a parking space. Randy quickly gets out the car, grabs his bags and leaves without a single word. I kindly wait until the automatic door of the hotel close behind him before I stumble out of the car and promptly throw up. It's only been day one and the stress is already eating me from the inside out.

"I guess I don't need to ask how your first day went." I glance up and see Adam Copeland and Chris Irvine standing over top of me. I gladly take the bottle of water from Chris and chug it down. Once I get use of my legs again, I start to stand up.

"Well, it can't get too much worse from here." I attempt a little bit of humor but it even sounds dead to my ears. I grab my duffel and the boys and I walk inside the hotel. While I go to check in for the measly 7 hours that I will be there, my attention reaches over to Adam who is now talking to a younger wrestler that I have yet to meet. I grab my room key and make my way back over.

"Adrianna Torres, I want you to meet Harry Smith. Harry, this is one of the best PR ladies around, Adrianna Torres." I take the younger man's hand and am pulled back into the twilight zone.

"My God, I'm sorry, I know that you get this a lot, but you look just like your father." Harry seems to blush at the compliment though I'm sure he heard a million times. I wave goodbye to everyone and finally make it upstairs. The stress of the day barely allows me the time to brush my teeth and wash my face before falling face down on the bed. I can't help but reiterate my statement from earlier: I hate this fucking job.


	3. How It All Ended

I drag my lifeless body into my condo the following afternoon and can't help but to breathe a sigh of relief. 2 days back to work and I am already feeling the exhaustion that comes with the job. The flight back home was torture, especially because seventy five percent of the company lives in Tampa or a surrounding area.

The workers in the back don't get nearly enough credit for the sacrifices that we have to make. No we don't have people bothering us at airports, bathrooms and restaurants, but we are on the same schedule as the big boys and we leave behind the same things that they do. I missed the birth of my little sister because she was born during an overseas tour. I speak to my family mostly through email and text and don't get me started on the effects it can cause on your love life.

All I really want to do is crawl in my bed and sleep my life away, but I know that I have to start getting myself back into my routine if I plan on keeping my life in any type of order. I have the next three days off and it can be near impossible to get everything done in those three days. I have clothes to wash, a house to clean, bills to pay, friendships and kinships to try and hold on to. Plus I have to make a hair, nails and waxing appointment. Vince hates for any of his employees to look bad and will surely make a public spectacle if you don't keep your appearances up.

4 hours late and I am finally done. Bills are paid, house is clean, laundry is done and I managed to get in a conversation to my mother and my aunt. I take a quick shower, grab my Snuggie and head downstairs to my couch. One thing that the WWE has been able to offer me is a comfortable lifestyle. I may bitch and moan a lot but Vince really does pay well. It allowed me the luxury of turning my 3 bedroom, 3 ½ bath into my personal sanctuary. Everything about my place screams calm and peaceful, even if my personal life seems to stay in the toilet.

I curl up on the couch and prepare to catch up on some horrible TV. I'm only half way into the latest reality crap on VH1 when my doorbell rings. I growl while I get up, pissed off that my calm evening is getting ready to be ruined. I fling open the door and can't help but to smile.

"I brought pizza and beer." I move aside and let Amy Dumas walk into my home. Other than Stephanie, Amy is the only other female that I can say is one of my closest friends. Plus if anyone can relate to my life, it would absolutely be her. We met a few weeks after I started my job and her free spirited lifestyle matched well with my brass and sarcastic attitude. She has been my main support system over the past few years and I am constantly thankful for our friendship.

We settle down on the couch as I quickly drain a beer before grabbing a slice of pizza. We sit in silence and I mentally countdown for her to ask the burning question.

"So how did you first day back go?" I swallow my food before reaching for another beer.

"My first assignment is Orton." I don't look up but I hear Amy choke on her food.

"No shit! Talk about a homecoming. So I am assuming you two didn't kiss and make up?" I shrug as I grab my blanket and pull it over my legs.

"I called his wife a cunt and he called you know who a junkie."

"Christ, you two go straight for the jugular don't you?"

"He started it Amy." I grab a pillow and bury myself in it to stop from screaming. "I fucking hate him."

"Like I hate Adam?" I smirk a little at that. Adam and Amy were in the middle of a huge wrestling scandal that was ultimately the demise of their relationship as well as the nail in the coffin of the wrestler formerly known as Lita.

"There is a big difference. You and Adam didn't have some big nasty ending that involved name calling, vase throwing and other people."

"Why are you so angry with him? He was the one willing to leave his situation; you were the one that chose to stay in yours."

"Because he didn't even take the time to listen or understand. Randy gets an idea in his head and that's the end. There is no talking or negotiating. He's like Veruca from Willy Wonka. He wants everything right now. When I told him that things couldn't work out, he runs around like a teenager bad mouthing me to any one who would listen. He claimed to be sooooo heartbroken but it didn't stop the asshole from marrying her three months later." I feel the tears hit the back of my eyes and I will them away. The tension was broken by the ringing of my cell phone.

"Hello."

"I just wanted to let you know that talent is emailing you my itinerary for next week. Try not to fuck it up like you do everything else." I hear the phone click and all I can do is stare at it.

"That MOTHERFUCKER!"

"I guess I know who that was." I slam my phone down and get up to find a bottle of Grey Goose. I don't even bother with a shot glass as I just take it the head.

"Adrianna, you may want to ease up on the bottle. Rate you're going, Vince will paying for your rehab sooner than later." Amy tries to pry to the bottle out of my hand but the look on my face stopped her in her tracks.

"Can I offer a piece of advice? Talk to him. Maybe he won't listen, nine times out of ten you two will get into a screaming match, but you have to find a way to find some common ground." Amy pauses for a bit before speaking again. "There is also a second option."

"Which would be?"

"McDonald's is always hiring." Smartass.

* * *

Amy had stayed for about another hour before she decided to head home. I walked my tired ass upstairs to my bedroom. I head to my drawer to grab a T-shirt to sleep in and my hand connects with something. I reach inside and pull out a gold bracelet. Damn it, I thought that I had threw this away a long time ago. I take a second to run my fingers over the two charms on the bracelet. They were Pebbles and Bam-Bam from The Flintstones cartoon. That was our nicknames for each other once upon a time. This was the last present Randy gave me before things got bad. I put the bracelet back in the dresser and crawl into bed.

_The sound of glass shattering made me jump almost jump out of my chair._

"_This is fucking bullshit and you know it." I cringe at the crack in his voice. _

"_Will you just let me explain?"_

"_Explain what Adrianna? I fucking love you, you love me. What is the problem?"_

"_This is bigger than just you and I, Randy. There are other people to think about. Your fiancé being one of them. Do you know how selfish we seem right now?" Randy grabbed a beer from the fridge and took a big gulp. The tears were coming down my face fast and hard. _

"_So we are supposed to ignore what is going on between the two of us just in order to avoid someone's feelings get hurt. What about us? Don't we matter?"_

"_Randy, you are my best friend. I don't want to lose that. We should have thought about the consequences of our actions before we even went there."_

"_We went "there" because it was the right thing to do. He doesn't deserve you, Adrianna. He is breaking you down piece by piece and you are fucking letting him. You need to fucking walking away now." Something about his tone pissed me off more than I believe he intended to._

"_Where do you get off? When I first starting hanging out with you, everybody told me you were bad news, that you were a misogynistic asshole who disrespected everybody that walked in his path. Did I listen to them? No because I can make my own fuckin choices. I have seen you go through suspensions, anger issues, drug use and more women than should ever be allowed for one man. Did I ever turn my back on you? NO I didn't because you were my friend and I loved you. So how dare you ask me to turn my back on someone else?"_

"_That is different…"_

"_No it's not Randy. God, can't we just go back to the way things were? Before everything got so fucking complicated?" Randy places his beer down and stands in front of me._

"_Our lives are not erasable Adrianna. I can't just ignore what is going on between us because you want me to. I am not going to make this easy for you. Tell me that you don't want him. Tell me that you can be willing to hurt him to avoid killing us."_

"_Why are you going this?" Randy smacks the kitchen island with force._

"_All these years and you still don't see me. Do you know why I am really with Samantha? Because I am bending over backwards trying to prove to you that I can be that guy."_

"_I never asked you to do anything!"_

"_Bullshit. From the second that you have walked in my life, everything I have done has been to get you to see me the way I see you. I have spent more nights with you than I have with any other woman in my life. I go to stupid places with you while we are the road just because I want to see you smile. I have watched Steel Fuckin Magnolias so many times that I can recite the damn movie frame by frame. I hate that fuckin movie but I know that when you have a bad day, you love to watch it and have a good cry."_

"_You never said anything."_

"_I thought my actions would be enough. So color me stupid when one day out of the fucking blue you hold this man's hand. What was I supposed to do, Adrianna?" Randy grips my arms and forces me to look at him and I see the tears in his eye._

"_Tell me you don't want me to marry her. I need you to tell me. I can be with her. I don't want to be with her. But I can. That's the thing about me. I'm so used to nothing, I can keep it up as long as I want. But I don't want her. I want YOU. I love YOU. But I am telling you something right now. If you pick him, if you chose to go back to him, I am done. I don't ever want to see you again."_

"_That's not fair."_

"_FUCK FAIR! I don't want to be fair. You are the love of my life. What the hell is so wrong with you that you can't see that?" He kisses me with such passion that I feel my knees buckle beneath me. I pull away while I still can._

"_I want you. Why is that not enough?" I run my hand down his face and try to memorize every line._

"_You want me, but he needs me." Randy pulls back and I see his eyes turn dark. He simply shakes his head as he walks away from me._

I wake up in a sweat. I haven't thought about that day in over a year. I reach up to my face and wipe the tears away. This is going to be harder than I ever imagined.


	4. Anger and Honesty

As I board the plane to Savannah Georgia, I overlook the schedule for the next week. The reason why I was able to succeed so well at my job was the fact that I am very organized, which is something that I will definitely need in order to follow Randy around. Some of the superstars are great with keeping up with their appointments and being on time. Others make me feel like a mother who has to constantly run behind everyone to make sure that things get done because what they fail to realize is if it doesn't go as planned, I have to hear it. Looking over the schedule, I know that my first official week is going to be complete and total hell.

Monday is being held in Savannah, then there is a Supershow on Tuesday in Atlanta. Normally Wednesday I would be able to make it home for two days but it seems as though Randy has a Make-A-Wish meet and greet on Wednesday in Atlanta, a photo shoot in Stamford on Thursday and then a house show in Peoria on Friday. More house shows round out the weekend and then Monday Night Raw in Lexington to end the week. I can already feel the stress pimples start to arrive. This means that I will be stuck with Randy for seven days straight.

I make small talk with Ricky Steamboat who is sitting next to me before the plane lands. I quickly head to grab my bags and fight my way through the crowds to pick up the rental car. I stand at the lot with the keys and wait for Randy to finally hurry his slow ass up. I know I didn't mistake the glare he sent me before throwing his bags in the trunk. He gets into the car without saying a word and I sigh heavily to show my annoyance. We go through our normal routine and I reach inside my bag to find a hair clip. Over the past two years I had let my black hair grow almost to the end of my back and being in this sticky weather is making me really start to regret it. We ride in silence for about twenty minutes before he finally says something.

"Did you go over the schedule?"

"Yes."

"Do you still know what you are doing or are we going to have any problems?" The accusatory tone in his voice makes me see red and I have to take a deep breath before responding.

"So how does your boyfriend feel about you working for the competition?" Here comes the pink elephant in the room. This is a conversation that I do not want to be having while driving 60 MPH down a deserted highway.

"I seriously doubt he considers this the competition and I don't know how he feels because we are no longer together." I pause and cast a look his way. "But you already know that, so can we not do this?"

"I'm just making conversation. Isn't this what you wanted? For us to get along?"

"Then let's talk about the weather, your career, the fucking latest music. Let's just talk about anything but our personal lives. It is not a subject that I want to get into with you."

"Why? Afraid that I might say I told you so?" That's it. I swerve off the road into a deserted field and quickly put the car in park and pull the keys out. I open my car door and slam it with force. I pace in front of the car and let out a huge scream. I feel his eyes on me but I can't be bothered to care. Once I get my thoughts back together, I make my way inside the car. Before I put the key back in the ignition, I turn to Randy.

"Let's get a few things straight right now. I am not your child or your whore, so you will learn to find a way to stop disrespecting or belittling me. You know just as well as I do that I am damn good at my job so stop questioning me. Furthermore, my personal life is just that: MINE. I don't question why you are still with that bitch that has a baby who is not yours but you are raising, so don't start in on me about Jeff." I take a deep breath as I start the car back up.

"Randy, I have told you that I was sorry time and time again. I don't know what else you want me to say. I did what I thought was best at the time; I never said it was right. You have got to stop holding this over my head. You like to play the victim and make it seem like I was oh so wrong. The truth of the matter is you were not the only one hurt by what happened. I had to make an impossible decision and you had a fiancée who is now your fucking wife. So can we please stop doing this? I am begging you." We rode in silence for awhile before Randy finally spoke up.

"How did you hear about Sam?"

"The same way you heard about Jeff. You know the men in this company can't hold water, much less a fucking secret."

"I owe this to her." I glance over at Randy who seems to have a death grip on his lighter.

"Who? The baby?"

"No, Sam. After we…ended, I told her everything. I told her that I was settling for her when I was really in love with you. I said some horrible things to her so I wasn't surprised when she cheated. Hell, I was doing the exact same thing. The difference is she did it to hurt me and I did it because I honestly loved you. When she came home saying she was pregnant, I knew the days didn't match up."

"But you stayed."

"By that time I had already accepted the fact that you and I were over. You had left the company; no one had seen or heard from you in months, so I stepped up." I use the red light as an excuse to run my eyes over his gorgeous face.

"But…" He turns to look at me and his blue eyes seem to pierce right to the depths of my soul.

"I come home to a woman that I don't love and a baby that's not mine. How in the fuck is that supposed to make me happy?" I remain quiet because what can I really say. Didn't I do the exact same thing with Jeff? Stay with him simply because I felt like I had as opposed to wanting to. We pull in the arena lot and I park. Before Randy can run out of the car, I firmly grab his arm. He looks at me questioningly and all I can do is place my other hand on his cheek.

"I wish you would find happiness." He seems to smile a little at that.

"You don't always get what you want, do you?" I feel the burn on my hand from touching his cheek but I refuse to let go. In some strange way, I feel the tension in his body flow through me.

"What do you need Adrianna? Will you ever tell me?" Would I ever tell him? Ah, now that's the million-dollar question. I don't know what I want. It was easier, when I was with Jeff, to blame my indecision on my desire to save a man that didn't want to be saved. But this has nothing to do with being Jeff. This is about me, my heart, and a man who's haunted me from the day I've met him.

As much as I hate what Randy's done to me, I could never hate him. Sometimes though, I can make myself believe I do. When I'm by myself I can relive every agonizing moment, every night I lost him to her or left to be with someone else. I feel anger, sick and sweet, running through my veins, mingling with his blood and the remnants of his soul. It makes me want to crawl out of my own skin, feeling him inside me, after all this time and all the pain. Yet, it's comforting, feeling him pulse through me, because it's something I'll never lose. No matter how many times I love again, he never leaves me. That comforts me, to know, in the chaos of my life, that something is constant. . .something's real.

For the past two years, I had been able to bury those feelings way deep down in my soul. I had told myself that I was better off without him, that we would do nothing but hurt each. But now I'm sitting here, surround by his cologne, his eyes locked on mine and it hits me like a ton of bricks. This is what it feels like to live and breathe. When he pulls away from me, I let him. I remain in the car until I feel my heart start to beat regularly again.


	5. As If Things Can't Get Worse

A/N: This chapter contains sexual content.

* * *

The second I walk into the arena, a stage hand tells me that Vince wants to see me. I walk gingerly toward his office, wondering what the hell I had done now. My mind was still in a whirl spin from the car ride. I let myself in the office and see Stephanie looking at me with a mixture of anger and sympathy.

"You wanted to speak to me?"

"Yes, we have been informed that Jeff's TNA contract is coming up soon and we are going to offer him another deal. It seems that his legal troubles have subsided and we need the ratings boost." I feel my face go red and I have to fight the bile from rising up my throat.

"With all due respect sir, what does this have to do with me?"

"Tomorrow, TNA is doing a show in Atlanta. I want you to go and see if you can convince Jeff to come back. Do you have a problem with that Adrianna?" He knows damn good and well I have a problem with that but if I want to keep my job, I shut my mouth and nod my head. I tell him that I will try my best and hurry up to excuse myself before the tears flow down my face. I run to the nearest empty storage space and quickly hit my knees. I cry so hard that I am sure people walking past hear me. My mind goes back to the day that I told Jeff about Randy.

* * *

"_Jeff…" My voice was a mere whisper behind him._

_He squeezed the dresser one more time before turning slowly, his eyes to the floor, his brow furrowed in confusion and a million other things._

_"Who was it?"_

_"Does it matter?"_

_"YES IT MATTERS!" He shouted, his eyes inexplicably still glued to the hardwood floor._

_I cleared my throat quietly, and spoke in a whisper, "Randy…"_

_"What?"_

_"It was Randy." I spoke clearly now, my eyes meeting his for the first time in two hours._

_And then he laughed. He laughed a hearty chuckle, staring at me in disbelief for a second before shaking his head and clasping his hands together, "You're kidding, right?"_

_"I'm sorry." She replied._

_"It's uh-it's a good show…"_

_"I was lonely. I've been lonely for a while, and so was he-" I continued to explain, despite his continued nervous laughter, "-it just happened."_

_"You're REALLY funny-"_

_"You haven't been-here, and I'm-I'm sorry, Jeff." I wiped a stray tear away._

_"Just shut up!" He yelled. That was when I knew that his bloodshot eyes was a combination of the news I had given him and the drugs that were in his system  
_

"_What do you want me to say?" I replied_

_"When?" His voice was deep and dark._

_I refused to answer the question. How can I explain that for the past two years I had shared a bed with Randy off and on?  
_

"_Why?" He asked after a few failed tries at speaking._

_"I was alone. And he was there."_

_"You're not alone, I'm here-"_

_"Jeff, you haven't been here in months." My voice was steady then. Steady and secure, and with a hint of some of the anger he was feeling. "I feel like I've lost you. Everything else in your life matters but us now, and I'm tired of carrying this relationship on my own. I'm just-I was tired. And he was here."_

_"You don't love me anymore? Is that what you're saying?"_

_"No, that's not what I'm saying at all"_

_"You were not alone, Adrianna, don't start with-"_

_"Yes I was!" I exclaimed, now not afraid to get in his face even as he tried to look away. "We did the couple thing; you got over your fear of commitment, your fear of not being good enough, your fear of not being able to be faithful to one person. You got comfortable, well good for you-" I searched his eyes and held his stare as I said firmly, "-you forgot you still have to work for the rest of it and you left me here to do all the work, I could not do it anymore, Jeff. I was tired. I'm SO tired. This—"I point the offending syringe that he no longer even bothers to hide. "This is fucking killing us and you don't give a shit." I go to turn away, growing tired of this argument. I know that I was wrong but damn it, it doesn't mean he was right._

_I felt a tug at my wrist, pinching my skin as he pulled roughly and unapologetically. He pinned my hand tightly against my chest, twisting my arm so that I had no choice but to stay where I stood, his lips a breath away as he glared and demanded silently for a better explanation. A better answer to his question. An answer that did not implicate him and made me the bad guy for once._

_"Let go, you're hurting me." I demanded in a breath._

_My breath was shallow and my lips parted as my eyes apologized and demanded an apology all at once. My cheeks felt hot and my loins ached with need. I was fully aware of his hardening erection pressed against my thigh, and of the leg deftly pushing up against my center. How the hell can we both be aroused at a time like this? Anger and sex, pain and destruction….these were all things that were familiar between Jeff and I._

_He seemed to wait for me to push him away-he seemed to be apologizing. I wasn't sure anymore._

_"What are you going to do, Jeff?" I panted, "Huh? You're going to fuck him out of me? You can't." I didn't know where the vile dripping words had come from, but they were out before I could stop them, and before I could register what was going on, I found myself crying, "You can't flush him out; he's already been inside me. You've already lost me."_

_"No-" He cut in, tugging at my jeans._

_"YES." I spat, nodding," Yes, you did. You left me, and I fucked somebody else, so now you can hate me-"_

_"NO-"_

_"You can hate me. Go ahead, say it. SAY IT!"_

_"Shut up," He warned._

_"This is what I had to do to get a reaction from you?" I cried._

_He swallowed a sob, claiming my mouth once more, tasting the salt of my tears on my lips as his tongue searched mine again. In that moment, I knew he hated me. I had been aiming for a reaction, something to prove that he was still here.  
_

_I gasped, finding myself being lifted off the ground._

_He gripped the underside of my thighs tightly as he slipped inside me in one long, firm stroke, and he groaned against my cheek, panting against my ear as I grabbed tight hold of his forearms._

_"I'm sorry." He breathed against my skin, rocking his hips slowly against mine. "I'm sorry I was gone."_

_I suppressed a sob against his neck before replying, "I'm sorry, too." I was hoping he didn't want me anymore; maybe the guilt wouldn't hurt as much. But he filled me. Physically and emotionally and this made my heart ache. It wasn't the intense love I had with Randy but it didn't make it any less real._

_"I love you so much, Adrianna-" He poured everything he had with that sentence.  
_

_I moaned loudly as he thrust roughly, crushing my spine against the wall behind me with every push. I felt him crush his chest against me, his hips moving in short strokes, supporting their weight against the wall as he reached between them with one hand and soon found her clit._

_He kissed my cheeks, my neck, sucking and biting at the skin there until he was sure he'd left a mark, pushing me as hard as he could against the wall until I came, tumbling against him, around him, all over him and he had no choice but to let me pull him along._

_He held me close, long after I had settled down. He breathed against my shoulder and gently set me down._

_We dressed in silence._

_I wouldn't meet his eyes and he wouldn't meet mine._

_"What happens now?" I asked my eyes red and stinging from crying. Upon him not replying, I added softly, "Do you want me to leave?"_

_He stopped, looking up at my tear stained face. "I don't want you to leave. I just-need some time."_

_I nodded, picking at the hem of my shirt. "Okay."_

_"-I think I just need some time."_

_"Yeah, of course."_

_He grabbed his jacket from the coat rack by the door and stopped after grabbing his keys, turning slightly in confusion and true and honest question, "Do you love me, Adrianna?"_

_I looked up, surprised, "Yes, I do."_

_"Okay." He turned the doorknob and left me in a pile on the floor."_

_

* * *

_

After that we were only able to make our relationship work for a few more months before his drug use got out of control and the guilt started to rot me from the inside out. Now I was expected to get down on my hands and knees and beg him to return even though I wasn't so sure I wanted him to. That still doesn't explain what the hell I'm going to do about Randy. 


	6. Hello Again

The show had ended and I knew what I had to do. Randy had informed me that he and some of the guys were going to hit up a bar or two so I was off duty. In a way I'm grateful because it gives me some time to think. I close the door behind me in the hotel room and quickly remove my shoes. Maybe a nice, hot bath is just what I need. After running the scorching hot water, my eyes connect with the mirror as I go to peel off my clothes.

My skin looks discolored, my hair is dull and my eyes are filled with sadness. I sigh and prepare to lean down into the tub. I close my eyes and try desperately to shut my brain off to no avail. My life has become a fucking punch line and I'm not sure I want to stick around for the joke. I stay in the water until my skin becomes wrinkled and I finally pry myself out. I walk my way towards the bed and quickly grab my phone. I hit speed dial and wait for the person on the other end to answer.

"Hello?"

"My life is a big pile of shit." I hit the speaker button as I start to brush my hair.

"That didn't take long." I hear the sound of laughter in the background and I can't help but to smile at hearing the sounds of two of my favorite little girls.

"Sara, I don't know what to do." Sara is Mark's former wife and other one of my dearest friends. She, Amy and I have sort of become the unofficial members of a club that we never signed up for. The heartbreak that the three of us had experienced made us closer than ever. I quickly explained everything to say, from my conversation with Randy to my meeting with Vince.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Have you talked to him since the night you left?"

"No." I shake my head as if she can see me.

"Does Randy know?"

"No."

"Do you plan on telling him?" Another million dollar question. Do I tell Randy about Vince's decision to have me be the one to bring the Rainbow-Haired Warrior back to the WWE?

"I have no idea."

"Well, I think you should. If you don't, you guys are just going to move backwards instead of forward. He's not going to be happy about this but you have to tell him Adrianna."

I know that what she says holds a lot of truth and I know what I have to do so I quickly hang up with Sara, making plans to meet next month when the company travels to Houston. I wait until one in the morning when I know the guys will back and I quickly pull a sweatshirt over my Family Guy pajamas and make my way to Randy's room.

I stare at the door for what seems like hours, hoping it would give some sort of answer. Of course it doesn't so I finally break down and gently knock. I wait a minute and decide to turn around when the door flings open. I take a look at Randy's dishelved appearance and feel a bolt of jealously that I haven't felt in years. I look behind him in time to see Eve walk towards the bathroom.

"Did you need something?" He asks me with that cocky little smirk and I fight the urge to smack him silly. I no longer have a need to tell him anything so I simply shake my head and run back towards my room.

* * *

The following day I took my time getting dressed. After about seven outfit changes, I finally decide on a pair of skin tight jeans, a black tank and a pair of wedged heels. I pull my hair up in a ponytail and try like hell to use makeup to cover up the tears from the night before.

I make it downstairs to the lobby and see Randy talking to John, Adam and Chris. I smile at three of the men and roll my eyes at the fourth. We had an enlightening conversation in the car the day before, but I now know that it was a one time deal and he's back to being the same dick that he has always been. I perch my glasses on the top of my head and address him.

"Vince wants me to take care of something so can you catch a ride to the arena with one of the guys?" I bite my bottom lip, a sure sign that I'm nervous.

"What does Vince want you to do?" I feel four pairs of eyes staring at me but I really don't want to acknowledge any of them.

"It's personal. Look can you get a ride or not?" I see Adam nod behind Randy and I quickly head for the front door before he can finish his round of twenty questions.

I find it fairly easy to walk backstage of the latest TNA show. I guess the security is not as up to par as I am used to. Plus a lot of the guys that I used to know from the WWE now work for TNA in order to keep their face relevant. I ask the make-up artist where catering is and she happily points me in the right direction. My brown eyes stay focused on everything around me just in case something jumps in front of me. I turn a corner and smack into someone. I feel myself getting ready to hit the floor before steady hands grab me and pull me forward.

"Whoa, are you alright?" I look up and find myself staring into the eyes of A.J Styles. WOW, TV certainly does not do him justice. I swallow a few times before I am able to speak.

"I'm sorry. I guess I was preoccupied." He delivers a smile in my direction and I feel a bit faint.

"Don't worry about it. I should have been more cautious. Is there anything I can help you with?"

"I am looking for Jeff Hardy." A.J releases my arms and seems to be looking behind me. I feel my body tense and I know without even turning around that Jeff is standing there. A.J silently wishes me good-bye but I remain rooted to my spot. I look down and see a distinct pair of shoes working their way in front of me.

"Adrianna?" The soft southern drawl makes me knees go a bit weak. God, I have absolutely no self-control. I blink a few times before I have the courage to look up. Those deep green eyes meet mine and for a second I forget why I left him in the first place.

"Hey Jeff." My voice sounds foreign to my own ears. I try to maintain some composure but I know that I am not doing a very good job.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was hoping to talk to you." He takes the time to really look at me. Every time he does this, I feel uneasy. It's as if he is looking right through my soul and reading my every emotion.

"God, Ad, I haven't seen you…" He trails off. I guess he knows that he is getting ready to go into a territory that is not comfortable for either one of us. While my relationship with Jeff had never been a fairytale, the last six months were definitely hell on Earth. Especially that last night in his home. I straighten my shoulders and try to seem a hell of a lot more confident than I feel.

"This isn't personal. Vince actually sent me here. I'm back working the PR department and he informed me that your contract here is up soon. He wants you to come back." Jeff leads me to an area of chairs and the second that his hand touches my back, I tense up. He must feel my hesitation because he quickly removes his hand and offers an apology.

"So that's why you here? Because Vince sent you? Damn it, Adrianna." He pushes his now short hair off of his eyes and stares at a spot on the wall. I move so that I can stare at a spot of my own. That is how we continue the conversation, sitting next to one another but avoiding all eye contact.

"What do you want me to say, Jeff? It's the truth. The ratings aren't what they used to be since they had to go PG with Linda's campaign coming up. Let's face it; you are a promoter's wet dream. You appeal to women, men and children. Jeff Hardy equals money, it always has." I deliver my speech feeling more like a board member and less like the ex-girlfriend that ran off in the middle of the night.

"Have you seen Orton?" I bite the inside of my cheek. I knew he was going to ask that question sooner or later.

"Actually, I'm his PA." He seems to find that particular piece of information funny because he starts to chuckle with disbelief.

"So is it safe to assume that the two of you kissed and made up by now?" I look down at my hands at the malice tone in his voice.

"That couldn't be farther from the truth. It seems like Randy still hates me as much as you do."

"I never hated Adrianna. Not once. I tried to make myself hate you, but it didn't work. That's why it hurt so fuckin' much when you left."

"Jeff, I couldn't stay and you know that."

"Why the hell not?" His voice starts to rise and I quickly look around to see if anyone can hear us. "I forgave you for fucking one of my co-workers. A co-worker, who at one time had been a pretty good fucking friend and you couldn't forgive me. You fucking lied to me Adrianna. You told me that you would always stand by me. You promised to never leave me and when things got a little tough, what did you do? You fucking left. No note, nothing. I woke up one morning and you were just fucking gone!" There is something that I have learned about myself. Anytime I feel like I am backed into a corner, anger is the emotion I use to get myself out. This time doesn't seem to be any different. I jump up off the chair and turn to face him.

"This was different Jeff and you fucking know it! You chose drugs over everything, including us. I was struggling to keep everything together and you just didn't give a shit about it all falling apart. I tried to be there. I wanted to believe that my love for you was going to be enough but it wasn't."

"YOU FUCKED ORTON!"

"BUT I CHOSE YOU! Randy begged me to stay with him, but I still chose you. I was honest with you about what happened with Randy and I didn't have to be. I could have chose not to tell you and you would have never found out and every opportunity you could, you threw that shit back in my face. Every time you got high and I said something to you, it was my fault. Let's ignore the fact that you had been doing that shit long before I came into the picture. How many insults and pain was I supposed to take Jeff? Were you ever going to stop punishing me for what I did?"

"How was I supposed to feel? My girlfriend was a fuckin' slut!"

"And my boyfriend was a fuckin' woman beater!" The second I say it, I want to take it back. Not because it's not the truth, but because of the color that seems to drain from Jeff's face. I take a deep breath and speak softly again.

"This was a fucking mistake—me coming here. I will tell Vince that I talked to you and if you want to come back then the ball is in your court. I am fucking done with this conversation." I turn on my heels and walk away, ignoring Jeff's protests for me to come back.


	7. I Hate SuperShows

I absolutely hate Super Shows. Most people love them because it gives them the rare chance to hang out with their friends that they haven't seen since the last Pay Per View. For me, it is just another opportunity to run into more people that I can't stand. I sit down on a crate and try to steady my racing heart. Pat Patterson told me that Vince would see me later to discuss my meeting with Jeff. Typical Vince move: he forces me to do something he knows damn good and well I don't want to do and then makes me wait around for him.

I send Randy a text message letting him know that I'm back and if needs anything. Of course, he doesn't text me back. Fucker is so damn childish all the time. He is pissed off at me because I didn't tell him where I was going but I am also quite aware of the rumor mill between the two "rival" companies and I would bet my first born that he knows where I went.

I pull out my phone again to call Melina and see if she wants to go for a walk or something. It's times like this that I really regret giving up smoking. It's was the one vice other than sex that gave me any bit of pleasure. Before I can look in my contacts to find her name, I hear my name being called behind me. I groan loudly easily recognizing the southern drawl.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I look up to see none other than Matt Hardy standing in front of me. I must have an interesting look on my face between anger and stupidity because he continues to ramble without me even answering. "Jeff called me and told me that you upset him. Haven't you done enough damage?"

I mentally count backwards from 10 and briefly wonder if Paul would be terribly upset if I drop kick his wife off of a building for convincing me to come back. The drama in this company backstage doesn't have shit on their storylines. I couldn't make any of this up if I tried.

Matt and I used to get along; well as much as two people can get along. I was friends with Amy and he was Jeff's brother so our paths regularly crossed. When Amy started sleeping with Adam, Matt went on a public warpath and expected everyone to take sides. Needless to say, he wasn't too thrilled when I didn't jump on the "Matt Hardy Will Never Die" bandwagon.

I understood his hurt but I didn't agree with his choices of publicly displaying people's private business all over the internet. Plus Amy was my friend and no matter how right or wrong she was, I believe in the solidarity of sisterhood. Especially since I don't have too many female friends to begin with.

"Are you even going to explain yourself?" I am really getting sick and tired of these Hardy men. I calmly stand up and cross my arms over my chest.

"I'm tired of repeating myself but I will say this one last time. It was not my idea to go and see Jeff. Vince sent me to talk to him because he wants Jeff to come back. I just did what my boss asked of me." I look out the corner of my eye and notice that there is a small crowd starting to form around us and I feel the headache start at the back of my eyes.

"The reason why Jeff won't come back is because of what you did to him." I laugh despite the seriousness of the argument.

"No the reason why Jeff won't come back is because he doesn't want to be drug tested and we all know that TNA doesn't have a drug policy which is why half the fuckin junkies of the industry end up going there when they don't want to go to rehab." I see his face start to turn red but I can't even be bothered to give a damn.

"Don't you dare call my brother a junkie, especially when you were the reason he was like that in the first place." I clap my hands sarcastically and raise an eyebrow.

"God, do you really believe that bullshit? You know just as well as I do that Jeff's drug habit started loooong before I came in to the picture so stop trying to fucking blame me for that. Here's a thought instead of trying to blame everyone else, why don't you try actually helping your fucking brother?"

"I tried to help him. I told him from the beginning that you were a no good tramp that would break his heart and he didn't listen to me. So imagine his surprise when you turned out to be the slut I always knew you would be. That's why you and Amy got along so well: you were both conniving little whores that couldn't keep your legs closed." I don't even register that I have slapped him until I see his head reach back and I feel the sting in my hand. I look behind him and see Randy standing there motionless. I shake my head, turn and run through the crowd heading for the exit.

* * *

I make my way back behind a production truck and drop down to my knees. I am not strong enough to continue to deal with this shit. I knew by coming back things were going to be hard, but I couldn't have predicted just exactly how bad things were going to get. I hear footsteps behind me but I don't dare to turn around.

"Are you okay?" I laugh through my tears but I don't turn around.

"Randy, please, just leave me alone. I can't fight with you, not anymore." I smell his cologne, letting me know that he has not listened to me. I stand up and turn to face him.

"I'm fucking exhausted. This job is exhausting, Jeff is exhausting and you…you may be the most exhausting of them all. I just don't think I can do it anymore. I'm tired Randy, I am so fucking tired." I feel my body start to shake uncontrollably and Randy quickly gathers me into his arms. I keep apologizing over and over again as he tries his best to soothe me. When I finally get myself together, I pull back and that's when I notice Randy's hand. I look up at him with wide-eyes.

"Please tell me you didn't." Randy shrugs as if it was no big deal to have the knuckles on his right hand be bleeding. I gently grab his hand and examine it for any broken bones.

"He deserved it."

"Randy, I'm supposed to be keeping you out of trouble, not helping you cause it." He places his good hand under my chin and forces me to look at him.

"Adrianna, you and I have hurled our share of insults at one another over the years but I will never stand back and watch someone disrespect you, no matter how angry with you I am." I nod quietly and sink back into his chest. I hear some clear their throat and we both jump to look at Paul.

"Vince wants to see both of you now." Well I guess I may be losing my job sooner than I thought.


End file.
